When You Know Something Is Wrong — But No One Is Listening

There’s a particular kind of loneliness that comes from knowing something in your body has shifted… and when you finally bring it up to a provider, you hear:

“Your labs are fine.”
“You’re just stressed.”
“You’re too young for menopause.”

I want to say clearly:

You are not dramatic.
You are not weak.
You are not “just stressed.”

AND YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

Common (and Often Unheard) Perimenopause Symptoms

Beyond hot flashes and night sweats, many women experience common — and dismissed symptoms, including:

• Sudden anxiety, panic attacks, or depression

• Irritability, mood swings that feel hormonal but unpredictable

• Brain fog and memory changes

• Heart palpitations

• Joint pain

• Histamine sensitivity or new allergies

• Tingling sensations

• Insomnia and night waking

• Increased ADHD symptoms

• Low libido

• Digestive shifts

• Crying easily… or not at all

Many women tell me, “I thought I was losing my mind.”

You may find yourself:

• Reevaluating relationships

• Less willing to tolerate emotional labor

• More aware of long-ignored resentment

• Craving authenticity

• Questioning your identity outside of caregiving roles

This is your body experiencing fluctuating estrogen levels, which affect serotonin, dopamine, cortisol, sleep cycles, temperature regulation, and even how your nervous system responds to stress. This isn’t just “hormones.” This is your whole body experiencing a neurobiological shift.

When Medical Dismissal Feels Like Gaslighting

Being unheard in medical spaces can feel deeply destabilizing — especially if you already carry trauma, anxiety, or a history of minimizing your own needs.

You gather the courage to speak up.
You explain what’s changed.
You ask if this could be perimenopause.

And you’re told:

• “You’re too young.”

• “Your labs don’t show that.”

• “Let’s just try an antidepressant.”

Sometimes medication helps. Sometimes hormone therapy helps. Sometimes lifestyle shifts help. Often, it’s a combination.

But dismissal? That never helps.

As women, many of us were socialized to tolerate discomfort quietly. To push through. To doubt ourselves before questioning authority. When doctors minimize our experiences, it can reactivate that old narrative: Maybe it is just me.

It’s not just you.

Mental Health and Hormones: The Missing Conversation

Perimenopause can begin in our late 30s or 40s and last for years before menopause (which is defined as 12 consecutive months without a period). This transition is biological and also emotional, relational, and psychological. As a therapist who works with women navigating trauma, anxiety, ADHD, relationship stress, and life transitions, I see how often hormonal shifts intensify existing patterns.

• Anxiety that was manageable becomes overwhelming.

• Old trauma responses resurface.

• OCD-like tendencies increase.

• Sleep disruption makes everything harder.

• Couples’ conflict increases because emotional bandwidth is low.

For many women, this stage strips away what no longer fits. And that can feel uncomfortable before it feels empowering. When we don’t connect the dots between hormones and mental health, women internalize blame.

Healing During This Season

At Aloha Therapy for Wellness in Fairfax, VA, we support your nervous system during perimenopause and menopause by providing:

• Trauma-informed therapy

• EMDR for emotional intensity

• Anxiety and stress counseling

• Women’s mental health support

• Hormone-related anxiety therapy

• Holistic therapy that honors both the psychological and physiological aspects of this transition

• Support for women over 40

• Menopause counseling

You DESERVE compassion and validation of your experience from someone who LISTENS to you.

You are navigating a profound biological transition. With the right support, women can stabilize their nervous systems, improve sleep, address hormone-related anxiety, and feel like themselves again.

From One Woman to Another

I’ve sat in exam rooms feeling unheard. I’ve Googled symptoms at 2 a.m., wondering what was happening to my body, and I’ve questioned myself.

And I’ve also learned that midlife is not an ending. It is an initiation.

Menopause is not a failure of femininity. It is a transition into a different kind of power — one that is often quieter, clearer, and less willing to shrink.

Trust your lived experience.
Ask questions.
Find support.

Your body is not betraying you. It is evolving.

And you deserve to be heard.

If you’re in Fairfax, VA, and looking for in-person counseling or telehealth therapy in Virginia, Aloha Therapy for Wellness can provide it. This season of life deserves care from someone who sees the whole you — mind, body, and spirit.